Blame Game
by MrsCreedy
Summary: Working with someone day in and day out for the past four years can make you feel things for them you had not expected to.
1. Chapter 1

I wasn't sure what time it was. The room was dark and all I could hear was his breathing. I could feel his warm body next to mine and I snuggled closer to him. His arm flopped over me and he let out a soft grunt in response. I ran my hand over his arm, when my hand reached his I intertwined our fingers. It was odd being with him this way, I had never thought of him as a possible sexual partner. He had changed my mind when he told me is most terrifying secret...his feelings for me...

Doink Doink: 7 days ago

"You're not getting conviction with that kind evidence, councilor." Trevor Langan said. I just smiled and said politely, " We'll see."

"I'm sure we will, you should have taken the deal councilor" Trevor walked out d the guard at the gate took the rapist, Jake Lowen back to his cell.

Doink Doink: Back at the Precinct

" I don't know, some time is much better then no time," Fin said rubbing his eyes.

" He deserves more the ten years in prison," I replied, " but as much as I hate to say it Langan has a point. The evidence is all circumstantial. We don't have hard evidence that he raped her!" And Then I heard his voice. It came from behind me and I turned to face him expecting a verbal whip-lashing about the DA department being ignorant or arrogant or something along those lines.

"She's a cops daughter Casey, and now she is dead cause what he did to her." Captain Don Cragen said with a rather annoyed look on his face.

"My not giving up Captain, It would just be nice if you had actual evidence." Was my reply and somehow he looked even more annoyed.

"Her suicide note is not enough. it says night in it that it was him who raped her." Don shouted at me.

"And he says it was consensual and we have nothing to say different." I shouted right back

"We are doing the best we can and I understand that both our bosses are breath down our necks right now but I did except more from you." His look was one of disappointment and even though I told myself it didn't bother me but it really did. It filled with with emotions I couldn't explain or even identify what emotions they were and that made me angry.

" Like I said I would be able to put him away for twenty-five to life if I had 'actual evidence'. It's not me who isn't working hard enough." I know it was tacky and totally untrue but I said it anyway. I held this squad in the highest esteem and I knew they were doing everything they could to put this guy away. But I knew if I put them down it would burn him and thats what I wanted at the current moment.

"That's it Casey, play your little blame game. do whatever makes you feel that its not your fault! I have Benson and Stabler re-interviewing everyone, including her grieving parents, and Munch and Fin..." He point to the two detectives that where to the right of us, they were probably supposed to be looking something up on the computer in front of them but they were far to busy watching the tantrum that Don and I were now having.

"...Are background checking our perp YET AGAIN!" He put a big stress on the last to words to emphasize that they had done their job and were still doing their jobs.

"what about the lab?" I yelled back knowing I was losing this argument.

"You know damn well that she took a shower before she jumped off her apartment balcony!"

"Cap'n, we might have something here."Fin said stopping me from shouting back.

"What?" Dan snapped.

"Turns out we did miss something... his juvenile records." Munch said, " They were sealed until yesterday. Jake Lowen, age 16 was arrest and then put in Juvee for breaking and entering. When Lowen, was in Juvenile detention he was raped by another boy there. The cop that arrest him was Officer Preston, our victim's father."

"Found everything had you?" I knew it was bitchy but I wore a smug smile on my face anyway. But the smugness was only to piss of Don, nothing else.

"Get the hell out, councilor," Don said walking away from me. I looked over at munch and said, " It sounds like pay back to me, let's see what a jury thinks."

Doink Doink: The Office of Casey Novak

Tomorrow was the verdict and all I could think about was they way I had treated him. It didn't matter who started it but it seemed to be a trend with us. However, he had given it name and it was a damn good one..." The Blame Game." We hated when things don't go our way, like when we don't get the bad guy in the end. It puts so much stress on us that we blaming each other. It was weird for me, when he was around I felt so strange. I was filled with all sorts of emotions that I couldn't understand and then I get angry cause I don't know what is going on with me.

I hate the way I acted today; I hate when I'm angry. I am not a mean person or some sort of cold hearted bitch. I hoped he didn't think of me that way. Why what he thought of me bothered me I don't know. I guess when it comes to Don, I don't have an answer for a lot of my feelings towards him. The one thing I did know When I left my office that night, was that I really should apologize.

Doink Doink: 1:6 precinct

I strolled in to the precinct the next evening. I was meet by Elliot and Olivia. both were working on a new case but stopped upon seeing me.

"What's the verdict Casey?" Elliot asked. Smiling I said, "Guilty on all counts."

"That just made my night." Liv said as her and Elliot exchanged smiles.

"Is the Captain around?" I asked.

"Cragen is in his office." Elliot said point to the back of the room as if I had never been there before. I nodded and walked away. I knocked and then opened the door, " Captain?"

" Come in, Counselor." He said.

"Guilty on all counts." I said again.

"That's damn good work counselor." He said, " Really want to thank you. Officer Preston is and old friend and his family should never been ripped apart like this in the first place. But I'm glad that in this type of situation they got some justice and will hopefully be able to get on with their lives."

"I'm just doing my job." I whispered. I felt dumb that that was all I could say at the moment.

"I'm disgusted with the way I acted the other day. I don't deal very well with stress and iI know you do the best you can at your job. and I I don't think you and in anyway a bitch." He finished

"You didn't call me a bitch." I stated.

"Well, I was thinking it." He said with a chuckle and I found laughing softly.

"Don, I don't deal with stress very well either and I know too that this squad does the best damn job they can." I started, "Seeing what you see everyday I know its so easy to become angry with the world and I sorry for not being more sensitive to that. I know you all work hard to out the bad guys away and I admire that. So apology accepted."

" Same here." He smiled. I was about to open the door to leave when...

"Casey..." He said my name and I turned to him to see what he had to say. "...I love you."

It was like everything around me was in slow motion and confusion clouded my mind. I wanted to say something in return but I just kept walking.

TBC

Author's note: Next chapter is the last one, its just a quick fic. I hope you like it and pleas Read and Review, I'm not gonna get better if I don't know what Im lacking lol. A lot of you keep saying you had never thought of the pairing I use, What I have to say to that is, How the hell not? I mean from the time she gets on the show they have like a million (Exaggerating) scenes together! I personally thought something was there after the second epsiode she was in when he comes to talk to her at the batting cages but hell, after watching season sevens epsiode "Gone" ( my favorite episode) I was like, " Yeah there definitely is something there." so I hope that gives you some insight to my thinking.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that has to do with Law and Order: SVU.

Chapter 2

Doink Doink: Apartment of Casey Novak

I stared at the ceiling of my bed room. It was the second night in a row I was unable to sleep. Donald Cragen had told me he loved me and I just walked away from him. I wanted to say something back but I couldn't say the same to him. Don made me feel things I couldn't explain but 'Love', I think I would be able to identify if i was in love or not.

"Shit! This messes everything up!" I screamed into the darkness of my room. his voice was in my head saying those three little words most woman long to hear. I had heard them before from my fiancé before he got sick. After seeing him in the morge, I truly had given up on love. I mean why did he have to get taken away from me. He was a great guy, why was he cursed with sickness? We were so happy and that would have lasted forever.

I felt the tears streak down my face. Since his death I didn't to to have a relationship with anyone, but I was tired of being lonely. I wanted to be with someone again and other then and age gap Don was a good man and it was time to break the silence between us.

Doink Doink: Office of Donald Cragen

Without knocking I whipped open the door and closed it behind me. Cragen looked up from his desk.

"Counselor?"

"We need to talk." I said. Cragen stood up and made a hand jester for me to say what was on my mind but I said, " Not here, you want to get a coffee?"

"Sure"

Doink Doink: Cafe three blocks from the Precinct

"We need to talk about what happened the other day." I said

" I figure so." He said. His tone was as if nothing had happened and then he opened up, " Casey, I do love you and I don't expect you to feel the same."

"And you still told me?" I was somewhat amazed, I had thought he thought I was in love with him too.

"Telling you how I feel about you was me getting it off my chest. I know I should have kept it to myself, and maintained my stern attitude with you but I couldn't any longer. I love you and that all there is to it."

"All there is to it? That all you have to say about it." I said quiet angrily and those feelings I couldn't identify were starting to rise.

"Yes, I know you don't love me so all we can do is just forget about it and move on." He explained. I was getting mad, he making his out to be such a small ordeal when to me it was a big one, "Are we done here, Casey?"

"No! I may not love you but I want a chance to fall in love with you." I said it. I was probably out of my mind but its what I wanted. It wasn't because I was lonely or grieving over my lost love, it was because I really did want to be with him. That is what I had been feeling this whole time but I just couldn't grasp it, " I have feelings for you. They may not be as strong or as identifiable but they are there. "

Don Got me by the waist and pull me to him, " you really me that?" I smiled and answered, "yes." He gave me a deep kiss that I needed several minutes to recover from. We walked back to the precinct arms around each other, I was finally starting over.

Doink Doink: Present day, Donald Cragen's bedroom

He rolled away from me and turned the lamp next to the bed on. I sat up using the sheet to cover myself, "What time is it?"

"6:00 am." He answered kissing my forehead, " Time to get up."

"Donnie..." Said stopping him from getting out of bed, "...I love you." He smiled and I kissed him with all the love I had for him. He covered me with his body and whispered in my ear, " I can be a little late today" I just smiled and pull his face down to mine. I knew this is were I was might to be.

The End.

A/N: Okay so the is a little out of characterness on this one. please Read & Review as always.


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